Once again thank you all for the help each of you brings to me !
In my first post, I omitted to say that my son is followed by a dyslexia/dyscalculia therapist (3 times a week) and a psychologist. After 3 changes in dyslexia therapist in a year, I guess we finally found the good one. He is now making progress in reading. It is hard to compare the different methods you talked about since I am not a dyslexia professional and I therefore do not know if they have equivalent in French
I will try to investigate that point.
Concerning the homework, we cut them in small pieces (about 10 minutes each
corresponding to something like 2 to 5 minutes of real work), let him have some 5-minute break in between
We encourage him even for the smallest success. But, the biggest problem is to bring him to work. He just wants to play, nothing else
He yells, breaks things, bites us, punches us (yesterday he punches his mother in the face)
We are against being violent especially with our children, but sometimes, believe me it is very hard to face that. He is perfectly aware that he is wrong doing such things and the final result is that his self-esteem goes deeper and that we are more disappointed
Sometimes (we do not know why), he will start working without any trouble, but it is so rare.
That makes me think about what grinity wrote : "your first job is to make it plain that you love and enjoy and respect him in his current state". Well, it is definitely the case. He is aware of our love and respect. We try to prove that to him each day
But, when you are punched in the face, bitten, yelled at while he does not even try to dress himself in the morning, while he still eats with his hands at home (and so on
) it is very hard to find the strength not to make him face his own dark side
. Anyway, I will try to read the stories on this board that I discovered just a few days ago.
Polarbear : well, it looks like you underwent the same things as me
Gifted program is not a thing that you can find in France except in locations very far from our home and work (the closer one is 600 km far I guess) and they are quite elitist even if they recognize that high IQ can come with learning disorder. One school is not that far from home but they seem to be booked for next year
The only thing we are waiting for is a special assistant that will help my son in class (for that we had to cry for fundings from a French institution for disabled persons
); something that has nothing to do with his giftedness but with his various dys
We've been starting (tense ???) slowly to get him used with keyboarding.
ADHD or not ? Hard to say. Ritalin does work but the neurologist had to double the dose reaching high levels for his weight. I am not happy with that but
His mother find the ritalin effect is not that clear. Even with Ritalin, he is always a kind of "thinking tornado" but he can do other things than being in his tremendous imagination
. Anyway, when I see him work (let's rather say trying to work), I and his mother rather think in an error in the IQ tests !
Beckee : I would like to believe this story on the "Goldilocks Zone"
But at the present time, we are rather in the "nowhere zone". It is very hard to get the spark of interest you are talking about
unless you speak of dragons, ninjagos, wolves, werewolves, owls
and he is so bewildering. Most of his discussions is non sense jumping from one point to another. Maybe, we are just incapable to enter his thoughts and I am sad with that. Polarbear's sentence "He gets interested in what he is interested in, not what someone else finds for him to be interested in" is just right in our case.
We tried several activities : judo (where he behave very quietly compared to others while not being under Ritalin at this time), music, circus, theater
No activity seems to attract him, except paintings maybe, very strange paintings indeed (very fond of yellow
kind of yellow monochromes)
Technological solutions : We are just about buying Dragon Naturally Speaking so that he can "write" things by himself. Seems like there are no French equivalent to learning ally, but we read a lot of books to him and he enjoys that (he could listen for hours till his parents exhaustion
I remember reading him the first harry potter book and a Jules Vernes's book last year
but we mostly read book for his age). A voice recorder sounds like a good idea. He likes taking photos, movies and we let him do his things with that
We should encourage him more and praise more his photos and movies (even if it's often quite strange too
. looks like David Lynch's stuff)
I think that I have to think about "Believing in himself is essential to his being interested in learning. For my boy, I told him that we would do whatever was needed to help him learn what he was interested in and then helped him figure out what that was. At the time, it was oceans and sea animals. We got lots of materials and worked through it together and his face lit up to know he really COULD learn. " from master_of_none. That's somehow comes with the Special Time concept described by Grinity. It is definitely something we (the mother and I) have to deal with. We try to spend time with him, but our investment is not as high as you describe it. Nevertheless, this requires time and time is a thing we are always struggling with
He is always late with the simpliest things (getting dressed, eating,
) We use a Time Timer to help him with time going on, but he seems just not to care about that
ABQMom : point 1 : Do you mean that we should present him the idea of his "exceptionality" ? Well, I am not convinced by that
First, I do not like people who think they are superior (well, indeed, that's my problem and not my son's one). Secondly, he is aware of his intelligence and says things like "my intelligence serves me nothing". On the other hand, he daily faces his differences ( and more and more strongly at the present time"). So, explaining him that the reasons of these differences are exactly the basis of his strengths might be helpful
I am just unsure about that.
Point 2 : we exactly do as you tell because we are convinced that he has to learn to struggle, even if at the present time after struggling the results are not very exciting (that renders his will to struggle lower and lower
)
Point 3 : I already dealt that point
Point 4 : Well we still do not have found the thing that he will truly enjoy. Very hard to find one, indeed. I am very fond of music, play the guitar (I am not very good). I wish he likes music, but up-to-date, I do not find a way to make him enter this marvelous place. I still hope he will but I do not want to force him (I was ..). I also like sports, I wish I can play soccer or tennis with him but he just does not care about sport. His uncle is a climbing teacher (a very good climber), but my son does not care also.
Point 5 : I am just here to learn more on 2e than I can find in France. I am happy to be able to dialog with people who face or faced the same challenge. Home schooling, an option ? Well, yes since both I and the mother work, but who knows
I guess it will be hard moneywise.
Point 6 : I already dealt that point
Well, I quit right now
too tired.
Thank you for reading me and for your answers
