I haven't chimed in before now but I read everyday astonished it keeps getting longer. And I think it does because it touches a defensiveness in all of us, about being called on our parents gut truthfully I think this debate is irrelevant to our kids and really indicates the difference between our kids and other kids, even those considered moderately regularly gifted - the needing of new inputs, new knowledge, it's like food or air or breathing to them. I think parents who do not have kids that need new knowledge the ways ours do do not understand and will never understand - unless you put in terms they do. And I think at some point all of us have had tor realize this necessity - usually after having denied it or resisted it.

Often parents of 4-8 year olds talk about "having" to have them in sports or take them to the playground because the kids have so much energy and are bouncing off the walls if they are not physical - well that's what our kids need it's just not physical - but that doesn't make any sense to parents who don't have kids who prefer to sit and read a good book on the periodical table rather than run around chasing other kids at the playground. And in fact many of us have kids like my DS who has to make up explanations or stories for the mindless running around that his friends do in order to semi-tolerate participating.

Interestingly the parents who have their kids in physical activities everyday also get critiqued for "over scheduling."

I think of it in terms of the bell curve, there are norms in every community and the more you appear to be violating those norms the more people will question why, and there is something about it being about intellectual skill that just rubs people wrong way. Fortunately, it only took a few of my misguided efforts to conform for me to realize I actually didn't care about those norms and feel perfectly comfortable not conforming.

In reading the whole thread, I keep being reminded of Val's discussion of definitions - my plant is rare, and needs special tending, and a special greenhouse, with extra soil and nutrients, without which he would atropy. So do I hothouse, no, do I enrich, no, I provide what is necessary!

DeHe