Originally Posted by blackcat
I've threatened to take all the books out of her room that are below her level so that she tries the more advanced ones.
Books can be comforting, the presence of books she has read may almost be a trophy of sorts? Some kids very much enjoy pictures, charts, graphs, any kind of illustration... and may cling to books which stimulate this part of the mind. Some families have success in talking with their children about how the words paint a picture in our mind... even how this picture may be different for each person who reads the words... some may even compare and discuss details of the pictures in their minds, when reading a book with few or no illustrations.

Originally Posted by blackcat
I sound like a horrible pushy hothousing parent
Not to me.

Originally Posted by blackcat
... what I'm dealing with. Lazy gifted children.
It may be the 2nd e?

Originally Posted by blackcat
... has been able to read chapter book for a couple years (and can read them in about 20 minutes) but every time I suggest one he whines and says that they are way too long.
It may be the 2nd e?

Originally Posted by blackcat
... He had a teacher last year in Kindergarten who made him read Beverly Cleary books like the Mouse and the Motorcycle and that was probably a very good thing for him.
You might wish to ask the teacher how your son approached the books... whether he liked reading them... did she ask him questions about the books... was he in a group also reading at that level... if he was motivated then, possibly those conditions could be replicated to support and encourage him now?

Originally Posted by blackcat
... Now this year in first grade he is actually going backwards in school with his reading because the teacher is giving him stuff below his level. He is bringing home picture books with 5 words on each page.
YIKES! I share your concern. There is a saying, "What you reward, you get more of." Somehow reading at his level was rewarding (hopefully intrinsically rewarding) last year. Wish I had answers for you... I only have these questions which I've shared.