... A hothouse is a warm nurturing environment for plants that keeps them safe from the weather outside...
As I understand it (and I may be wrong) the analogy developed due to the gardening practices of "forcing" a bloom when a bulb is kept warm to flower early or out-of-season. Authors have discussed "hot house tomatoes" as being bland and flavorless, as compared with those from plants which are "hardened off" as seedlings after the first frost and grow their fruits outside. Teachers have complained that "hothoused" kids are similarly sheltered from real life and unable to survive when not catered to.
Some believe in hot-housing, others believe it is detrimental.
I get the impression from some of the messages here that parents who teach stuff to their kids in the absence of the kid begging are somehow doing something bad.
Begging was not mentioned... just
child-led or child-chosen or child-requested, supporting the child's interest in learning at their preferred, comfortable depth and pace.
Most posters tried to maintain neutrality, not judging the practice or the parents who may hot-house, but rather focusing on:
- whether it works,
- whether some practices work,
- whether it provides a temporary boost before a child's achievement/performance evens out,
- whether it may be detrimental.
This leads to the idea that only gifted kids should be taught by mom and dad.
Au contraire, children of all abilities may benefit from an enriched, positive environment with books, in which they are encouraged and supported to explore, inquire, and learn. Active, engaged parents who answer a child's questions may often be surprised where a conversation/exploration may lead.
It seems perfectly reasonable (to me at least) for any parent to teach stuff to his/her child.
Absolutely! Parents are their child/ren's first teachers. Parents know their children best.
There are loads of perfectly valid reasons for teaching math or music or reading to a child outside of school. As has been pointed out, there are times when, as a parent, you have to teach your child the importance of doing something or following through on something even when you'd rather be doing something else.
Agreed!
What a humorous bunch... as evidenced by posts upthread on "hot-housing" the teaching of dish-washing, animal husbandry, yard cleanup skills, no biting, not throwing your cup on the floor, and leaving the poor dog alone... when the children have no interest in learning these life skills or manners. Obviously, there are parents out there who live vicariously through their kids and end up treating them in unhealthy ways. Amy Chua's thing with not letting her kid pee or eat until she got some chord just right is a perfect example of that. Parents who consider an A- to be a bad grade are another example of that. Parents who use their kids as status symbols are a third example.
While most of us would not choose to parent that way ourselves, we may walk a fine line in trying to maintain a relationship with those who are at that point... if only so that we may gently persuade them of another way of looking at the situation from perhaps their child's view.
I'm not going to say that forcing your kid to do something when he's miserable is one of those things. Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn't. It's easy to identify the extremes but not so easy to identify the stuff in the middle. I expect we all make mistakes in that regard.
Growth mindset... we all learn as we go.
