Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy How to Hothouse Your Kid

The ultimate in hothousing may be Amy Chua's book, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother". There are many articles about and reviews of this book.

Carol Bainbridge, writing for About . com, has offered articles on the differences between nurturing and pushing/hothousing (link- http://giftedkids.about.com/od/glossary/g/hothouse.htm and http://giftedkids.about.com/od/nurturinggiftsandtalents/qt/pushing.htm and http://giftedkids.about.com/od/nurturinggiftsandtalents/i/nurture_push.htm)

There are resources and milestone guidelines available on parents . com, education . com, and many other websites, which may be used to enrich/encourage or to hothouse/force.

There is nothing inherently wrong with any particular resource or tool, only how it may be utilized... the difference being the degree to which something is genuinely of interest to the child or is parent-pushed. To an outsider it may be difficult to distinguish when a child is being "hothoused" from when a child is pressing up on a glass ceiling... a limit to growth which not everyone may see. For example: a child may be ready, able, and interested to read books above the level to which s/he is limited by what is available. The lack of higher level books may present a limit, or glass ceiling. A parent searching the library for 5th-grade-level books with their 1st-grader may be erroneously perceived as hothousing when they may simply be helping their child break through the glass ceiling.

Focusing on toddler/preschool age, children's brains are said to grow more connections in a positive environment. There are many scientific articles and also many for the general population. Some links which parents may find interesting- http://www.urbanchildinstitute.org/why-0-3/baby-and-brain, http://brainrules.net/brain-rules-for-baby. An enriched environment, including having simple books available, reading to, and talking with a baby may provide benefits.

There are many who push and press their kids to achievement and even to emulation of common characteristics of giftedness. A telltale sign may be the use of any adult-imposed external reward/punishment as an incentive for learning/performance, rather than the child feeling internally/intrinsically rewarded by attainment of the knowledge which answers his/her question. The use of external rewards/punishments was evident in the writings of Amy Chua, and may be more subtle among parents one encounters every day... for example giving a child his toy truck after he recites poems for the camera. Unfortunately hothousing can be successful because children often "want" to receive their rewards and avoid punishments, therefore they may "want" to learn/perform as dictated. This can be detrimental to a child.

A child who is pushed to excel may stop exploring or sharing what his/her current interests are, in order to avoid being pushed. They may also salve their resentment with comparative/competitive statements about being "better than..." or being "best", and develop a fixed mindset. They may feel inordinately threatened by others' growth in various areas, and exhibit strong negative reactions to others' success. This may be a sign that they do not feel valued as a person, but only by virtue of their performance relative to others. There may be many downsides to "hothousing". Rather than learning a balance between indulging in their own interests and passions, and the practice of self-discipline, respecting the needs/wishes/boundaries of others, they may learn to manipulate (as they may perceive that this is what has been role modeled toward themselves... how they have been treated).