Every kid is different, in my experience. I haven't read that specific book but found nuggets from many of the titles listed in the comments here.
My two college-age kids recently informed me that when I used to punish them for bad grades back in middle school, it was part of the fun to see what I would dish out and whether they could hack it - losing iPods, phone privileges, etc. - it was all part of a challenge to them rather than anything that created a sense of remorse or desire to change.
With all three of my kids, though, I've found that dealing with them without manipulation has worked the best. Straightforward explanations about why they cannot do something, firm lines where it really mattered, and a willingness to negotiate everything else is what helped me maintain sanity. Their desire to negotiate or test the validity of decisions used to exhaust me, but I've seen the fruit of that behavior as adults - they're much more able to advocate for themselves with college professors and bosses. They've learned the balance between defiance and raising valid questions, and they're actually well respected by their bosses because of it.
