Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Does "Love and Logic" work with gifted children

It's been a long time since I took the Love and Logic course so I apologize if my memory is fuzzy. We had the same issue as a prior poster in that the kids wouldn't accept the two choices given. My kids have been negotiators since they could talk and could see through these L&L manipulations in a heart beat. Also, neither of my girls are motivated by money. DS is motivated by money so we occasionally do use "paying mom" as a consequence with him.

In general, it seemed that their technique would be easier to implement with one kid. A lot of our challenges revolve around sibling issues. I did not find L&L to be as useful on sibling stuff. For example, I asked at the seminar about how to deal with one child making the other late for an activity. The presenter told me to let it happen and count on sibling peer pressure to kick in the next time. I thought that this was way off the mark. The tardy sibling was doing it on purpose and succeeding in making her sister late would only encourage repeated behavior of this sort. The presenter then suggested leaving the tardy sibling home. Again, off the mark, since she wanted to stay home and/or force one of the parents to miss her sibling's special event. We found it difficult to come up with a logical, natural consequence that didn't negatively affect her sister. I'm sure smarter parents could handle this better using L&L but not us.

I found "Siblings Without Rivalry" to have better suggestions re how to handle sibling conflict. My kids still never seem to follow their script either but at least it made more sense to me.