Michaela, I look at my first and my third and wonder if my first suffered from too much undivided attention. Or whether she is as she is because she has AS and she was always going to be as she is... My 2.5yr old noted I was cranky this afternoon and after her usual interrogation about my feelings "Are you feeling happy?" "Are you feeling x?" "Don't be cranky mummy" she suddenly moved on to "Mummy you have very lovely hair." "Oh I like your shirt mummy." Four or five direct compliments in quick succession, complete with gently stroking the mentioned feature as a clear and deliberate tactic to change my mood. I am not sure my 11 yr old has given me a compliment ever. She will give me a small cuddle and tell me she loves me when she's angling to get something... Did I fail to teach my 11yr old all these social skills and instead teach her to expect constant entertainment and 1:1 attention - or was she simply wired that way? How do you make sense of too much v. not enough attention resulting in expecting too much from peopl or not knowing how to interact? Certainly #3 is better at self entertaining and I think it's partly from being left to her own devices more, but she's also learned way more social skills with way less input and attention and I am pretty sure that part is NOT causal.
