Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy What would you do if you were me ?

I definitely agree with the ineffectiveness of delayed consequences. My child is in K, and there is no behavior chart. If there is an issue, usually the teacher sends a note, or it gets handled (usually with a time-out, or losing out on playtime) at school.

What does the behavior chart contain ? Is your child interested (or vested) in this chart ? Sometimes, the effectiveness of the punishments fade, when done again and again. Does your son connect his actions (or this behavior chart) with the detention ?

My son has to sit out free playtime when he does not complete his in-class work. That is his punishment. He does not protest, but he does not feel terribly sorry either (maybe he feels a bit sorry for himself for losing out on playtime). He just does his work when others are playing around him. Often times, it is coloring, and he just takes his time doing it, instead of getting the work done. Just now, at almost the end of the school year, after repeated talks, he sometimes does not do a perfect job coloring and focuses on doing work for the sake of doing work. Do the punishments work ? Definitely not, in my son's case. However, when I asked that he just do the work for half the free time, and bring back the other work home, his teacher said that she can't make an exception. I've also requested that he skip most of the coloring and color only where it really, truly matters (graphs, for example). That needed a 504 to implement, so it has not been implemented so far. Obviously, not a great K experience.

What is the school teacher's logic for issuing delayed punishments ? Is it to make sure that he does not get exempted ? I also believe in positive discipline, and honestly, if my child was told to face a wall or run laps after 2 days of breaking a behavior rule, his self esteem would be pretty much shot. What I am trying to ask is this : do you think the school administration is approaching this from a place where it can be corrected gently or just to sort of make him an example (of what not to do) for the class ?



Get a note from the therapist, ask her to mail it or fax it and deliver this to the school, so it is on his file. Every time, a delayed consequence is issued, write a letter and ask to see the Principal. Three or four times of this happening, I bet (or sure hope) it stops


I am asking this very gently -- do you think an IEP or a 504 will jelp in your son's case ? Or do you think he is just a spirited child ?