You sound like you've come to terms with the way things are. I gave up my lifelong dream of becoming a singer. I feel like I came so close to it and walked away. I still can't sing or listen to music very often. I absolutely can not go to a concert, because I will cry.
But I was so unhappy with the music industry. If I had ditched the singing idea earlier, I would have gone to college instead.
This sounds like me and my lifelong dream of becoming a lawyer!
To draft world-changing legal briefs and argue the great civilization-changing arguments before the highest court in the land! I was going to bask in the sheer glory and majesty of the law!
Actually, that's not true at all.
I didn't have any desire to actually practice law when I went to law school. Or any interest in law.
In fact, it wasn't clear to me what lawyers even did day-to-day.
Then when I got out and started practicing, I realized that, yep, I still had no interest in it.
However, it was a way to stay in school another three years and avoid ever having to work in a chemical plant as a chemical engineer. And, never having had a real job in my life, it was important to me to avoid the world of work for as long as humanly possible.
And those chemicals are toxic! And they explode fairly often.
People ask me why I went to law school when I majored in engineering. I explain that I didn't need to be exposed to toxic chemicals. It wasn't until my Junior year that I figured out what engineers actually did. I wasn't exactly thrilled with my discovery.
There's a life lesson in my story somewhere.
