I would cry over something like that, in a heartbeat. Heck, I nearly cried just now reading about it.
I used to feel like I was not fulfilling my potential all the time. I still do, at times. I find that I have to remember that "my potential" is more than my intellectual ability. It is a combination of many factors, and changes over time (sometimes, it seems, from moment to moment). My time, my material and social resources, my community, my energy, my health, my executive functioning, and my personality all contribute to the equation of what I can reasonably expect myself to accomplish.
It took me a long time to realize this.
Be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with wanting to do more than be a full-time SAHM. At some point, probably relatively soon, the nature of the demands will change, and you will have a little more time to do the things that engage your mind and make your heart sing, even if you aren't making scientific breakthroughs before breakfast. There are trade-offs that come with every decision, and one of the trade-offs in being a care-giving parent of a high-intensity child often is is a having a few really grueling months or years where nothing much else gets accomplished.
You are 27. By the time you are the age I was when my first child was born, yours will be almost school-aged. So I count you as ahead of the game, from my perspective. Serious illness took a huge chunk out of my productive years, and left me with a career path that resembles a meadering cow track strewn with tangled barbed wire far more than it resembles the smooth, glorious, meteoritic arc that I envisioned in my youth. But it has been a grand adventure, and, looking back, I am incredibly grateful for (almost) all of the experiences I have had along the way. Cow paths, after all, have a lot more latitude for exploration, discovery, and enjoyment than expressways or ballistic trajectories do. It was hard to have that perspective at the time, though.
Hang in there.
(hugs)
