Well, I'm a mom of two, and I agree 100% with your philosophy, acs.
I pushed DS7 a bit back when he was 2yo to get him out of diapers before baby #2 came along, and it was a disaster. I tried hard not to make too much of potty training, but two perfectionistic, overly analytical minds--one of which was in its 2s!--did not make for a happy situation. I ended up sending him to grandma's house and he came back trained. Thank goodness! I don't know what we'd have done! I think he was simply never going to be able to do it for me. But he was ready, and grandma's house was neutral ground, so he was able to do it, right around his 3rd birthday. (Remember that...)
Learning from my mistakes, I backed way, WAY off for DS4...and he trained himself just before his 3rd birthday. Yup, same basic time!
More importantly, it was effortless. No trip to grandma's house was required. Now, DS4 is a very different kind of kid than DS7, so if the birth order had been reversed, I might have had the same problems with DS7 (then my second child) and the same ease with firstborn DS4. But I suspect that not worrying about it and not pushing helped.
DS4 was still in diapers after age 1 though. I can't argue with you there, Dottie!
