Yes, those are all signs that you're in a specific sort of situation. Different from NYC, but similar in many ways from the sound of it. It's interesting to hear you describe it.
I'm in a middle- to upper-middle-class suburb of a major city in a midwestern state, but not an especially huge or wealthy city. I've never heard of a single person in our area being unable to get into a pre-K program. No one signs up until the Feb. before the school year they want in, and while it's possible that your first choice might fill up if you wait too long, there are always good programs with some openings if you're not too picky about date and time. The most popular programs are the non-academic church-based programs. But even these have openings right up until school starts pretty much every year. They tend to be child-led and very much about exploration, making friends and having fun in an educational manner.
There is a brochure that our school passes out from the state that details what constitutes K readiness, but it isn't hard to get to that level of readiness. The play-based half-day programs do just great with getting the kids there. K is also half-day, though more academically focused than pre-K. 1st grade is typically the "learn to read" year for us and so it's where many GT kids run into trouble, though I know in some places that happens in K.
Are there just not enough pre-K programs in your area, or is it about getting into the "right" program? I can't tell from your post what the tenor of the area is for you. A true shortage could be unfortunate for your DD. But if it's more a case of "get into this pre-K or all is lost!" then I'd be more likely to shrug it off. As long as a pre-K program is safe, clean, child-led, and has plenty of stuff to mess with, I'd bet dollars to donuts that she'll be fine.
Plenty of kids don't go to pre-K at all and they live long, happy, productive lives.
Be reassured! All is not lost!
