I noticed this thread last night and didn't have time to get caught up before I posted. Many more posts tonight!
For us, giftedness did not impact our plans, although it certainly has changed our experience, just as other special needs of friends' children has changed theirs. I was in my mid-30s when we married, so our plan was to get started quickly and have several, which we did.
We had our three within 3.5 years... and it was exhausting, all-consuming. I am a baby-wearing, nursing, very intentional parent and I have often marveled at how those first five years of parenting took everything I had. (Having said that, as others have noted, it did become remarkably easier once they hit certain milestones, such as sleeping through the night... dressing themselves... and when they were all potty-trained, what bliss!)
We had no family nearby, but you find a way. They are all incessant talkers -- which DH would say is because of the steady stream of conversation I kept up before they could talk.
because of this, I used to have our oldest call my parents when I needed a moment. At 18 mos, he could happily talk to my mom non-stop for 45 min or so, which thrilled her and which gave me quite the mental break! Since I had him dial, he memorized the number without me realizing it and then he called her early one morning before I woke up and talked with her for an hour before waking me up. (I then realized I couldn't let him dial any other numbers lest he dial those homes at 5 a.m.!) It has been 6 years since this started and I still have them call my parents when I need a quiet moment!
And, by the time our third was born, our oldest could sit near me when I nursed and read to our middle child... and there were many other unexpected helps. (I sent our oldest to a wonderful play-based preschool, because I knew he needed that time with bigger kids and I had my hands full... and I kept the second one home, because with her sensory issues, she needed that and my hands were not nearly as full. And I had an amazing offer to work in my field 10 hours/wk and bring each of the babies with me for their first 9 mos, so I had a bit of a break, meaningful work and time with each of them with me in a sling, which helped me refuel.)
I know yours would not be nearly as close as ours, but I thought I'd post just to share our experience, which -- though not without its share of chaos -- has been such a delightful one. I have learned in a deeper way to trust that "all will be well." There have been many challenges we never anticipated, but so many unexpected blessings from our trio, too. Whatever you decide, trust that it is what is right for you.
