Gifted didn't come into our family planning at all, but a lot of what is mentioned here is very familiar
I think that many of the things brought up here apply for parents of non-gifted kids too
I love whoever said above that their parents suggested thinking of who you'd like to see around your Thanksgiving table later on - I just love that! That's kind of what we did - I had a vision, and I didn't really think of anything else other than that vision of family life in the future.
Which is fortunate, because a lot of those first-years of parenting aren't really all that much fun - all the lack of sleep, exploding diapers, constant mental exhaustion.
The thing I've found with my kids (and my friends kids) - all babies and toddlers are different - some are high-maintenance, some are high-needs, some are just a breeze. There's no way to predict which will come first, but chances are that within any given family you're going to have one child is a lot more exhausting than another. And which child is the exhausting and challenging child *IS* going to change as your children get older - it's just what happens and there's no way to predict which child it will be or what exactly is going to go on with any of your children. My most mellow baby turned into the kid who I had to put the most time into to get through school. My most challenging toddler (medical and sensory) turned into my most mellow elementary-age kid and just all-around fun kid to be around ever, until she turned into my most hormonal middle-school child.
Another thing that happens, and it's just life - the first child gets all the attention, you will most likely feel stressed and guilty about not having enough time and energy to give that same kind of attention to your second child, and by the time you have your third child you will no longer care and may occasionally forget they exist (just kidding!). But the nature of your relationships with them will be different simply because of birth order - and that's something you might feel wistful about but it really will be ok!
For me, if my second child had been my first child, there would have been no more children. If I'd known ahead of time what the elementary school years would be like, and I had any control over anything, all of my children would have been my second child, and all of my toddlers would have been my third child. BUT wait! I love love love my first child too.
Really, it's all going to be what it's going to be (and it will get easier by the time they are in middle school, but your free time will still be completely non-existent because they can't drive yet :)) I love all my kids to the moon and back and can't imagine our lives without any of them. I am glad they have each other because I know that eventually, once they get past the can't-stop-squabbling stage of siblinghood, they will grow into adults who will (hopefully) appreciate having each other.
It's all good - no matter how many children you have - just keep looking at the vision you've always had for your family, and don't let the exhaustion of the early years delude you into thinking that you have to give up the dream of another child if it's something you want
Best wishes,
polarbear
