We've had the extremely asynchronous non stop talking co-sleeper (or rather co-waker) up till four, the one with feeding/issues (not entirely resolved yet but infinitely better after 18 months incredibly hard work) and the extended nurser with major medical issues. The feeding issues I'd say were the most frustrating.
I can imagine that having all three rolled into one is exhausting to a point that others experiences cannot compare.
Thank you! Just having someone commiserate is so relieving. DH is away at work until 7pm or later on week days, so he appreciates the "end product" but has no real sense of the inputs needed. (Our concepts of need are, shall we say, different, though I think the gap is rapidly closing the more I encourage Dad-DS solo play. DH grew up in a cold family where children were bred to be ignored, so he's a far cry from his parents.)
I usually go to bed with my children around eight because I have usually been completely wiped by late afternoon. I LOVE LOVE LOVE it when for some reason I get to have an afternoon nap with DS 1. Bliss.
Yes!! I have the luxury of being able to nap or do computer work during DS' nap or, as is the case today, veg out on the forum.
You say you are young enough to wait and see and having them close enough for them to be playmates (I'd say between 4 and 5 is probably the outer limit for that) is not a concern for you. So, wait and see! It may all suddenly fall into place,
Frankly, I think that's the best approach.
My control freakish inclination to plan will need to be tempered. That's probably a good thing in and of itself.
I cannot recall whether your little one is reading yet? If he is, he surely hasn't got the stamina for the kind of reading yet that fills his need for mental stimulation without constant interaction with a receptive grown up. I recall DH saying what an eye opener it was when our oldest had actually shut up for almost half an hour for the first time ever because he was making his way through his first chapter books "I realized just how exhausting the last five years have been and why, and realized that things will get better...".
Yup, he started around 21 months but prefers strongly to be read to. He seems to have little motivation to read to himself, so again, my old friend "wait and see" is at my side.
His favourite play these days is imitating home repairs and inspection shows, which can't really be done with other children.
For instance, this has been our day:
- Cemented a crack in the pool deck
- Performed a top to bottom home "inspection", including note-taking
- Sawed a dead branch off a tree and sealed it
- Sorted leftover patio stones
- Cleaned the drain spouts
- Went for a few "forklift rides", in which I carry him all over the yard and deposit him in various "warehouses"
- Read a handful of books
- Ate two meals
- Built a working construction site out of gardening tools and duct tape, including a wrecking ball, crane, excavator, and construction elevator. This boy loves to build something from nothing!
DS tends to like imaginary scenarios that other children (esp. his age) won't understand, like excavating and replacing weeping tiles in a basement, or deploying a defibrillator to recussitate a patient. The benefit is we play some really interesting games and I get a ton of help around the house from my right hand man!
Now some of that uncontrollable mental energy goes into picking on his little sister, I'm sorry to say...but never forget that parents do have some control over how well siblings get along (siblings without rivalry, while rather dated, had helpful ideas for me, and made me realize how parents can actually create the rivalry).
I sometimes feel a bit sorry for my DD, sandwiched between her two brothers (I read the same article Bostonian read, but somehow the two daughters thing didn't work out for us either, some glitch in the ordering of the universe I expect) but on the other hand, you've never seen such a tough little girl!
I'm going to look into that book--thanks for the recommendation.
