Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy How did giftedness affect your family planning?

You could look at it this way: letting your child be an only, you are depriving him of one of the few chances of a HG+ playmate!
At the time, we were fairly sure DS7 was gifted, but we did not understand just how high, in comparison with typical kids, his needs Actually were, not even with the issues that came with him being a preemie. I mean, it just takes you a while to realize not all kids need two hours of attention to go to sleep at night, kWIM? But his difficult birth and infancy caused major health issues of mine (spine surgery for a slipped disk) and when he was 2, I just wasn't ready for another baby and felt I needed to get ahead a bit professionally as well. By the time he was 3, our family was way ready for another, but it took another 9 months to produce one, which is a time lag you have to keep in mind. Um, I mean, I'm sure you knew that, but I have so often since wished I'd started sooner or could speed up the process that I just want to throw this out there: you do have to take it on faith sometimes that you will be ready by the time the child is actually there, and if not, things will work out somehow anyway. DD3 (4 in a couple days) is almost four years younger than DS7, and while they can play together and enjoy one another (that she is socio-emotionally way ahead for her age while he is behind, clearly helps), I think they'd enjoy one another much more if they were closer in age. I have the direct comparison with the relationship between DD3 and DS1 who are just best friends, and it is lovely to watch.
Some of it I am sure is birth order ( all parents of three tell me that the rivalry is most intense between the oldest two), some of it is individual temperament and some must be girls just being more likely to be caring older siblings (DD3 loves helping DS1 bathe, dry, dress, feed etc and is put out if he does not want to be helped, while DS7 can be caring but needs to be specifically asked and reminded) but of course some of it is being just over two years apart. If one can swing it (I was way not ready to be pregnant with DS1 which wasn't so easy when it turned he was going to be born with major special needs) it is probably an ideal spacing.
I wish I could, one of these days, sleep longer than 5 hours at a stretch. I have kinda forgotten what that's like. I also regret knowing I have missed career opportunities that will never come again now. But once you have those kids I cannot imagine you will regret having them, though I am sure the other way around is much more common.
DH actually always wanted four, but with DS1 we have found that some kids needs actually are compelling reasons not to have another. He's got the kind of May end up in hospital for brain surgery at a moments notice-needs and we feel it would not be fair to him, nor to the baby and his (as I now know, also high needs) older sibs.
Also, he profits even more from extended breast feeing than typical kids do and every day I am wiped as it is and that more than five hours of uninterrupted sleep night I am still dreaming of is not yet on the horizon and our historic little two bedroom cottage is so crowded and our logistics so overwhelming....adding pregnancy to the mix...ugh. It would frankly be irresponsible.