It took 5 years to have DD so the idea of "planning" seems a bit absurd. DD and DS are 16mo. apart and I spent a few years after they were born exhausted. DD could be intense with a lot of mood swings and demanded a lot of attention. DS was very passive and easy for the most part but he had delays which caused stress and running around to medical appointments. The idea of a third child made me feel exhausted and still does. I don't think the "giftedness" plays a role. It has its challenges but the disability aspect is what has exhausted me most. Both kids are 2e. If both my kids had been "easy" and "typical" maybe then I would have been more motivated to try to have a third, thru infertility treatments, or adoption, or just trying the old fashioned way. You never know what you are going to get when you decide to have a baby. You can make an educated guess based on the fact that siblings tend to be similar, but there are no guarantees. I have a friend with twins. One has autism spectrum disorder and behavioral issues. The other twin has a genetic disorder that has caused her to be wheelchair bound and completely non-verbal, profoundly deficient in terms of cognitive ability (not sure of the PC way to say that), with all kinds of medical issues causing her to be in and out of the hospital (at one point she seemed to be in the hospital more than she was home). They have no idea what her life expectancy is. The genetic disorder/health issues were not detected until she was about 6 months old. The parents are heroes in my eyes, and I have no idea how they have endured everything they have been through. But most parents love their kids so much they step up to the plate and do whatever is needed, exhausted or not.
