Not much I can say to the almost dying in labor part...
But I do have to say--and I think other parents of multiple children will agree--should you have another child, you will discover that you absolutely have enough love and to spare for every one of your children. An additional child does not mean that you now have to divide your love between them--your attention, yes, but not your love--your love will expand to fill the space available.
I can see family support as a factor, though. Our children do not have any grandparents closer than 1000s of miles, or even aunts/uncles closer than an hour's drive. It was much harder to get through the early years than if we had had more family support, but we did.
And I know what you mean about delightfully exhausting children. All of ours have co-slept until age 4, nursed until 2.5 or older, glued themselves to mom practically 24/7, not slept through the night until at least age 5. One talks, sings, and dances non-stop. Blessedly, we haven't had to deal with eating issues. (Which makes an amazing difference, from what I've seen with families who have had struggles with eating.)
