Aquinas, some of your previous post reminded me strongly of our discussions about this when DD was 4-8yo.
We
had tried to have another-- but, well, long sad story there.
I was very lonely as an only child. I did not want that for my own daughter. But she
isn't lonely, most of the time.
The only time when I've had real regrets at the way that things have turned out (like Dude's family) is when my surviving parent died, leaving me "alone" in the world. It's a strange feeling.
On the other hand, when my FIL recently died, I suddenly had cause to be very grateful, as my poor DH dealt with a sibling who could only very charitably be described as "difficult" (or, um-- well-balanced, I suppose, though I shouldn't say so).
We also considered adoption extensively... but realized that DD's need for (expensive) education, enrichment, and medical care
would inevitably suffer if she had a sibling. Our home isn't really a good one for two children of widely separated ages due to the bedroom configuration.
It was complicated, but our decision was ultimately made FOR us on the one hand, but also we didn't feel the need to go to extreme lengths to make it happen. We did think about that, but realized that our family already felt "good" to us the way that it was.
The pull has existed at times anyway, of course. I think that most people who are loving parents feel that. It's balanced by a sense that our family is "right" as it is, however.
Our home is very QUIET. With 2/3rd introverts, this is an important consideration, quite frankly. Adding an extroverted/loud child to this mix would increase stress levels substantially in DD and myself both.
