Hi I hope you don't mind me jumping in as I"m new to this forum. My 6 year old just recently tested gifted and he's currently in the 2nd grade. When I "vent" to my friends or co-workers because I feel as though he is being treated unfairly at school (he's always in "trouble" for acting up when really he's incredibly bored and emotionally intense) I get told by them that either all kids are gifted so my child is not smarter than them, he probably has issues and should be evaluated as "THEIR" kid would never act like that in class or I'm not doing enough as a parent to discipline him so he doesn't act up in class. I totally relate. I literally at this time have nobody but my husband and my parents (all 4 of us kids excelled in something or were labeled gifted so they've been through it). So I just wanted to say I completely empathize with you on this.
The "acts up because he's bored" thing is a hot issue, and one I have a hard time discussing with my kids' classmates' parents, gifted or otherwise. The biggest problem I've seen with it is that there are some folks (not including present company, but thinking of people we've encountered over the years) who think that recognizing the problem is all there is to it, and that it's not their responsibility as a parent to ameliorate it. Ultimately, nobody outside of the parent and teacher cares why little Thor is being obnoxious (be it giftedness, ADHD, or both). They just want him to quit. So if the school cannot or will not challenge Thor to a perfect level of engagement, it's up to us to teach him coping skills. Which we should be doing anyway, because as an adult he's going to have plenty of opportunities to use them. And as soon as you say "Thor's bored in class" chances are your audience makes the leap to assume you're That Parent, and immediately crosses Thor off the birthday invitation list.
Of course, you can teach Thor coping skills, like drawing on blank paper when he's bored, which should bother no one...and have his teacher still throw a blue hissyfit because he's not gazing at the teacher with rapt attention while he goes over the product of twice nine for the eighth time. In which case Thor gets another lesson, which is How To Deal With Unreasonable People.
