What kind of strategy is suitably respectful but assertive with the parents of those friends, though?
(Right now, this is an issue with a boyfriend and his parents, so that is why I ask.)
What we're looking at here is conflict management when insults, untruths, or defensiveness is involved. When it’s difficult or you simply can’t walk away from it, your best bet is to get to the core of the problem. That’s usually done through calmly asking clarifying questions such as;
“What makes you feel that way?”
“What gives you that impression / perception?”
“On what do you base your statement?”
Once the root of the problem is understood, gentle education of facts and reality is usually the best way to cure ignorance. It might take a different approach if the root problem is jealousy or feeling inferior. I usually go with the discussion of everyone has their blessings and challenges thought pattern and educate the person on the unique challenges that are involved as well.
When it comes to a boyfriend / girlfriend / spouse, it’s best to talk about where each person’s talents and challenges are and how both can work together as a team to be stronger together than they are as two separate people. My lovely and gifted wife has a grand array of skills, education, and intelligence, I have a different set of skills and a different kind of intelligence, however, we depend on each other’s strengths to balance our own short comings. It takes maturity to do that, something that teens haven’t yet developed. It might take some coaching to help either get over self and see how they can help each other to potential.
