Good advice, OldDad.
DD similarly sees the more overt variety of nasties in that light. Or at least she always has.
I've mentioned elsewhere that this is one of those socially-PG things that she seems to have always had a grasp of.
It's the more sly stuff that we see being harmful to her now that she's a somewhat insecure adolescent. It feeds self-doubt in some very particular ways, and plays into task-avoidant perfectionism, which she's had trouble battling.
Same-age peers often are so fond of DD that they will act as though the PG thing isn't a problem (well, more properly the grade placement difference isn't), but then it turns out that there is a subtle but continuous 'patter' of negativity and "me-too" attempts at one-upsmanship from both the peer and not infrequently the child's parents, as well.
It's the low level barrage that we see being of concern. The more overt material DD knows well enough for what it is. She lacks the maturity to see the low-level inundation in the face of a contrary statement in that same light, though.
Any advice on how to manage that aspect of things? My inclination is to remove DD from situations like this, but with an adolescent, that becomes less and less a viable solution. I guess we can talk about 'healthy' relationships and unhealthy ones.
I just wish that there were more that we could do about it.
