No, I don't think that the disability is necessarily making her less likely to acknowledge her strengths rationally. It's more like your DH's situation. She just thinks that she's "mediocre" at something if she isn't, I don't know, ranked in the top 2 or 3 in the U.S., or something. It's truly wacky, because she still hasn't discovered her "thing" yet, either. So none of us have seen what she's actually capable of when she puts the pedal all the way to the floor cognitively, but the flickers that we've seen when she performs under strain are pretty awe-inspiring, even in the context of DH and I both being HG+ ourselves. So I suspect that someday, she
will find something that she's proud of and pleased by, and that will be that. It just hasn't happened yet.
With that said, however, she certainly doesn't need "taking down a peg" by anyone.
She already beats herself up plenty, to the point that we've only just moved comfortably past perfectionism-fueled anxiety issues so serious that we were concerned for her health!
The disability issue is one that forces a very hard boundary on some kinds of physical contact, and the boyfriend is continuously trying to "negotiate" on this point, which is starting to really tick my DD off. She's well aware that both her cognitive abilities and her experience (after all, she's lived this way all her life) make her personal judgment on this subject pretty much the only expert opinion between the two of them. At 13, he really CANNOT get it the way she does, and she knows it, but is desperately trying to avoid being forced to tell him so in quite bald terms. If anything, her PG status makes her far more capable of managing on that front, even if the disability does make things trickier to begin with.
