I totally get it. I am not naturally an assertive person, and my first instinct is to stop demanding that my son get a decent education every time someone implies that I'm making it up, or forcing him into extra study that he doesn't want. (For the record, he told me the other day that he doesn't know much about history, so he wants a history book for his birthday). It's really difficult to keep advocating for your child in these circumstances. Even family does this. My own mother berated me for demanding a challenge for him, since apparently good grades are the only thing that is important. A friend of mine has a son who appears to be quite bright, but has some minor speech issues. When I mentioned how frustrated I was that DS was not getting the math instruction he needed (they stuck him on a computer with some advanced math, and had him figure it out on his own), she told me that I should just be happy that my son is doing well, and as the mother of a child who had a "real" problem, she thought I should just shut up about it.
The way DS is treated is even worse. His school librarian allowed him to only choose books within a year of his grade level. When I sent a note asking that he be allowed to read more advanced books, he was politely told that he wouldn't be able to understand the other books, and perhaps he should explain that to his mother. Really? How do you tell a child who WANTS to challenge himself that he is not capable of doing so?!? Last year when I started sending a notebook of extra work to school with him so he didn't spend 3-4 hours of the day drawing pictures, his teacher told him to put it away because it was "distracting" to the other students. (If your child is distracted by a spiral notebook and a pencil, he or she should be medicated, in my opinion). Poor DS is left feeling like it's a negative thing that he enjoys learning.
It's frustrating, I know. I wish I knew what to do about it. For now, thought, I've learned to save all brags to this board, and try to teach DS that he should be proud of his accomplishments without necessarily getting the credit he deserves from anyone outside our own home.
