From what I've started to understand about myself, I honestly spend far more time stressing about my 2e's education, homework, performance, etc., than most parents do. But I can talk about his deficits all day long and get commiseration and kind comments from parents. But let me talk about my gifted kid with no 2e issues, and the rules change. They just do. People like to meet us in a place of commonality; that's human nature. But when our kid is so uncommon, that is very hard to do.
So my policy has become this: if a person is making snide, unkind, unsolicited remarks within hearing of my child, mother bear is deployed in full force. My kid needs to know I will defend them and that being gifted is nothing that should be disparaged. But if a person makes a comment that comes off as unsettling or unkind within the course of an adult conversation, I tend to simply remove myself from the conversation in the most graceful way possible. I will not change others' insecurities, biases, or judgments of me and my stellar parenting skills (bwahahaha), so I won't begin to try.
