Agreed, Val-- and eldertree, too. Gaucherie. Yes. JonLaw, my DD is probably fully capable of actually saying that, but probably not with a straight face.
We've been gently exploring the fact that being asynchronous means having different peer groups for different things, yes... but it doesn't mean DENIAL of the other parts of yourself for others' comfort. True friends will not ask that of us.
DD has been distancing herself from the entire situation over the past few days, and this is a part of the reason why. The other reason is that she's... just... not.. THAT... into him (and he is VERY into her, which she is beginning to find mightily irritating).
The parents are one thing, but nobody needs this subtle stream of "you're not really as good as you think you are" from peers who are theoretically "friends." Of any sort.
But then again, I think that some of it may be
coming from the parents... as in the peer in question may be feeling that DD (a rising 11th grader) is a bit of a... er... well, that she might be out of his league or something?
And maybe his parents are reassuring him that this isn't so by delegitimizing DD's very real intellectual standing?
The reason that I wonder is that this didn't start until after the two of them let on to parents about the budding relationship. Our approach was "Hey-- that's really cool that he's not intimidated by the grade difference," but then that seems to maybe have not been so true after all... since now it seems to keep coming up, and I can guarantee that it isn't DD bringing it up.
Interesting also that the mom made a crack about DD to my DH over the weekend that
really had him steaming. He was dropping their DS off after a social thing, and it was just an opportunistic jab. Weird. We aren't the ones thinking that our DD is "too good for" their son... but they seem to be downright determined to act preemptively just in case.
It's turned into a downright odd situation.
