I don't like how this sometimes leads DD to question her legitimacy intellectually.
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...then it turns out that there is a subtle but continuous 'patter' of negativity and "me-too" attempts at one-upsmanship from both the peer and not infrequently the child's parents, as well.
(Right now, this is an issue with a boyfriend and his parents, so that is why I ask.)
I'm confused a bit here. Are the negativity and one-upsmanship problems with the parents of the boyfriend or
both the boyfriend and the parents?
If this kind of negativity or one-upsmanship is coming from the boyfriend, I'm thinking that it's time to have a sensitive and gentle talk with your daughter about the importance of getting involved with people who respect you and who treat you with respect. And the equal importance of avoiding "friends" who make you feel bad.
