Hi Wren,
When my dd was three she was also very competitive. And like your dd she got very upset at losing at Candyland. There were times when I had to put said game in the closet for a week after a big tantrum. She needed to learn to be a good loser just as much as being a good winner.
This weekend my dd had her first swim meet. When she was out of the water the timers gave her her official time. She got a big smile on her face because her time was 5 seconds faster than her best practice time. She didn't care what other kid's times were or even what place she got (she got 3rd). She only cared that she did better than she had done before. Definitily one of my proudest moments! (this girld didn't know how to swim four months ago). She is learning that practice and effort pay off.
As for the gifted private school being too competitive. If all the children there are similarly gifted then then children's experiences would be no different than an average student in an average school setting. Isn't that what we are striving for? Aren't we fighting for our kids to be allowed the same opportunity to struggle and succeed with some effort?
