Gosh, this is really a complex decision (that's probably the reason we're all getting into it!).
I do not think that a thirteen year old should have to shoulder all the responsibility - after all it involves a move across the globe, into a very unfamiliar environment.
I would approach the process two ways: going forward and going backward.
Thanks Tigerle. Yep kind of complicated for sure. Don't worry, too much for me let alone DD. There is the visa stuff and bank statements etc for starters! We discuss it all because she does have to ultimately choose a Uni and course. If she had the time I am sure she would be right onto it though, Internet research is definitely one of her strengths.
I'm going to respectfully disagree here. Choosing a college is often the first big adult-like decision that a person makes. While I believe that parental input is very important, I also believe that too much involvement on the parent's part isn't a good thing. Respectfully again, what's written here seems to say that one parent is doing almost all of the college-identifying work, which doesn't sound ideal to me. Ndw said that her daughter is 14, which is well old enough to be looking at colleges and learning about the different types of schools and what each offers. Obviously, she should discuss this stuff with adults (including parents, adults at schools, local alumni, and counselor-types).
I understand that parents get used to making big decisions for their kids, and I know that it can be hard to let go of the reins. But there comes a point where a person has to learn how to make independent decisions in an educated way, and IMO, the best way to teach that skill is to let it start developing when the child still has a safety net.
With my eldest (who I noted is also 14), we give him input on what a college education will mean to him, on the different environments at different colleges (e.g. large public vs. small liberal arts), and try to help him make an informed decision. But he has to do a lot of the legwork himself, because
learning how to do the background research by yourself is an important part of learning how to make an informed decision by yourself.
