Thanks everyone...sorry Indigo, I don't want to appear ungrateful for the advice. It's just a LOT to digest right now. It's all starting to make sense right now and a light bulb has gone off for me...I have tried to push aside all of his behavior in the past as "terrible 2s, terrible 3s" etc because all other parents would say not to worry, I'm sure he is fine...he's still so young etc etc...It has taken until now that he just turned 4 for me to finally accept that he is different...I wouldn't be surprised if he has dual diagnoses of gifted but HFA, or ODD or possibly ADHD along with it. Although his teacher doesn't think he is ADHD because when his energy is channeled into the right thing, he has no trouble focusing. Definitely hyperactive but she said he is different from all ADHD children in the sense that he CAN control it at times and doesn't always act that way. Most other ADHD kids she has seen can't channel their energy as well as he can at times...The times he can't seem to control it are the frustrating ones...he can almost be bi-polar. Jeckyll and Hyde like. Not sure if some underlying bipolar tendencies can be in the mix or not, but I suppose a psychologist will pick up on all of that...

NDW - I agree, the lack of yard impacts him. Some of our worst times are at home because he simply has nothing to do but bother everyone around him and get into trouble...jumping on furniture to burn energy etc. We do have an attached garage so I am looking onto getting a small trampoline or something so I can send him there to jump out his energy. This move has been hard on him...I'm not sure of any specific military resources, but I will be looking into it.

He does so much better when we go places. We went to the children's museum yesterday and he was great! No issues whatsoever because he was in his element. It's just hard to keep him challenged every second of the day...

This is just so frustrating...I am finding myself becoming slightly depressed about it and feel pretty hopeless myself which I know doesn't help matters. I think when we have some solutions that work it will make life easier. Right now it's hard to enjoy very much of anything because he is so intense and stressful and he demands so much that he is becoming all encompassing. We always wanted a third child and I feel like because of him we cannot have one...and I don't want to resent him for that. It's just such a tough road when you have behavior problems like this. I am sure family counseling or some sort of support for me and my husband would be of benefit to help us get through this tough time. My husband still isn't totally convinced there is anything "different" or wrong with him...in that way also, I think a diagnosis would be helpful. I have known all along, it's tough to get him on board. I tried to explain to him that yes he may be gifted but he may be learning disabled or have some other diagnoses that make it not so cut and dry. This is all so new to us it is pretty overwhelming. I'm learning a lot though and know we will get through this if we take it one step at a time and focus on the good moments.