My family even just thinks we don't discipline enough or that his behavior is a result of our parenting which is highly unfair. Nobody understands what type of child we are dealing with. It's bad, but I really hope I have some answers so I can explain to family and friends that he may have some exceptionalities that make him act the way he does. It doesn't excuse it by any means, just helps explain it and takes the blame off of us! It's so alienating sometimes for both him and us!
There's lots of great advice here from some very experienced people. I just wanted to pick up on your comment above, that made me smile and wince all at once. I've learned to deal with the fact that friends and family fairly universally think the only reason DS was a difficult baby and child is because we *allowed* him to be that way, and if we had just.... and not.... and didn't... well, spoil him so much, he wouldn't be so sensitive and intense and demanding and high needs. Yes, it's alienating, and it can hurt coming from people we care about, people we would expect to be more able to understand.
But there is extremely low awareness of the scope of fun "extras" that can come with the gifted label. Heck, I never related any of this stuff to gifted! Gifted kids are independent and self-motivated and ace all their classes without trying, right? Ummm - not so much. So do your research, and when the time feels right, get the assessments that help you understand what you're dealing with and how you can best help him. Maybe that will help people around you see your parenting differently too - but don't count on it. Do it for yourself, and when you need understanding, and to escape the judgement, come here to these wonderful BTDT parents above.
