Okay, I read the description of social issues after I said to be wary of a diagnosis at age four. Hmmm....
1. The fact that your son keeps doing something that he has recently gotten in trouble for, and caused him to lose something that he enjoys is concerning. It sounds like an issue with impulse control/ obsessive behavior-- that is, he gets it into his head to do this thing, and can't shake it until he does it.
2. My son hit at that age- not other children. He hit me- a lot, and hard when he was angry. He also bit, kicked, flailed, head butted, etc. It was obviously painful for me, and when I said it "hurt" he was non responsive or he would something like, "I'm glad." He didn't hit other children, but he didn't engage/show remorse when he would (for example) accidentally knock down a block tower.
Obviously, we were worried- but we took it in context with all of his behavior. We reached the correct conclusion that he did not know how to engage emotionally with a person who was upset, especially if he was the one who caused it-- either accidentally or on purpose. Later, we discovered that he has a disability in social pragmatics-- it means that he's sweet and kind, but that he doesn't know how to read social cues. He's completely out of his depth in understanding what he needs to do or say "in the moment" and responds by disengaging or saying something inappropriate. It was at around five that he realized that people just need to hear "I'm sorry" and around six that trying very hard not to do something again is the most important part of an apology.
Saying "I want to make someone feel bad" at four, is nothing like a self aware person saying it at twelve.
It sounds like your son could benefit from play or social therapy.
