I completely agree with Cathy. There's no magic formula; you just do the best you can do. Loving your kids solves a whole lot of problems and mistakes.
The best thing you can do is just what you're doing: think about your goals for how you want to treat your children and why. Figure out a parenting philosophy that lines up with those goals. I try to remember that I'm not raising children, I'm raising future adults. But decide what your values and priorities are and try to steer things gently in that general direction...
...Then be prepared to wing it when you actually have the kids, because things will not go as planned!
Dumping perfectionism is a great start. Being aware of the problem there is half the battle, I think. That you know that being 5th instead of 1st in your class was not a life-altering issue will help you avoid that issue.
But there will be other problems. I always say, only half-jokingly, that the best thing to do is pick the way you want to screw up your kids and then be consistent about it; you'll save them money on therapy later if you screw them up the same way all the time instead of jumping around.
My best advice: think about all of this, but don't worry. The fact that you're worried about it now, before you have kids, means that you're probably going to be a spectacular parent! Honest!
