Wow Searching,
That is a hard concept. Growing up, I was not considered gifted or eligible for any pull-outs or programs except speach therapy. (turns out I am what is now known as 2E) My husband's parents refused to put him in the gifted program because they wanted him to grow up normal. Until our son was born, neither of us had any clue that we were not in fact "normal" and terrible social misfits with low self esteem.
After our son was born, I had all the What to Expect books. At about 9 months old, my husband made me donate them to a shelter since they upset me so much since DS was meeting the milestones so early and there were warnings in them that if your child walks before sitting up then it might be autism and such that had me getting paranoid. To date I think I'm still in a form of GT denial...
In your situation, If your schedules allow, maybe try to get involved in the reading is fundamental program or something similar. It is a great program and also lets you experience the difficulties that some children have with learning to understand the concepts of reading. Big Brothers/Big Sisters might also be a possibility. If he is referring strictly to grades on a report card, keep in mind that many schools have tightened up their grading scale. For example, in my son's district, a 94% is an A-, an 88% is a B-, 80% is a C-, 73% is a D-. A 72% is failing. Our school does not have any + scores either. On many of my son's tests the difference between an A and a C is 1 question. Another thought is to start going to your local school board meetings. You will get a good idea of the priorities of your area as well as meet other parents.
My husband is a perfectionist and has little patience with our son at times. Mostly when DS is not staying focused on his tasks or is making silly guesses at things instead of thinking them through. Things can get tense. However, they are extremely close and share a wide variety of similar interests. Even after they have been going at it, within a few minutes, they usually have their heads together bent over some robot and peace reigns again.
I wish you all the best
