The most extreme example is the day my mother yelled at me because I was not valedictorian.
(((Hugs))) It does sound like they are perfectionists. 5th in your class is very good! I certainly wasn't a valedictorian and I was happy about that because I hate giving speeches
!
When parents invest too much of their own self-worth in their child's performance there are problems. Of course we are proud of our children but the accomplishments are theirs not ours. Sometimes separating the two is easier said than done!
I understand that you are afraid that your husband may repeat the mistakes of your parents. I think all parents have these kinds of fears and none of us are perfect, for sure!
All the books and magazines give you the impression that if you could just get the right information and follow the right procedure your kids will be happy, well-behaved and maximizing their potential (this is coming from me--a fellow perfectionist
) Well, I have figured out that it is not possible. And that my kids are thriving despite not being happy or well-behaved or perfect all the time. And despite my husband and me not being perfect!
We are all playing it by ear...
Cathy
