Interesting topic and discussion! Thanks, Trinity!
My biggest issue is with my mother, interestingly enough. Every time I make a choice that is different than the ones she made for me, she takes offense. She interprets every different choice I make for my son as a sign that I'm criticizing her choices for me when I was a child.
I'm not! Given the state of gifted education and research 30+ years ago, I think she did everything she could have done for me and more than I could have asked for. She started a whole support group for gifted kids and their parents, for goodness sake! Who does that?!? My mom! (And BTW, I've told her as much. I know the insecurity we feel when we make choices, so I have reassured her that I'm not second-guessing what she did for me back then!)
But even so, times have changed. We know some things now that we didn't know then. And my son is a different sort of kid than I was. His needs are very different from mine, so my choices are necessarily going to be different from hers. She doesn't seem to get that.
But that's really more my mom's baggage, I think. I guess giftedness brings out the baggage of many generations...
So my baggage...My perfectionism, I think, is potentially problematic for me, too, Cathy. Sometimes I have to remind myself that creativity is not neat. Loose ends can be okay. That issue is magnified by the fact that we're home schooling. When you're the teacher, you sort of have to decide if coloring in the lines (figuratively speaking) is the point of the assignment or not. It's an extension of the "pick your battles" parenting saw, I guess.
Oh, and I'm haunted by my "bossy" label from childhood, the one that's so typical of perfectionistic gifted girls. When DH and I were trying to decide how to approach the 1st grade teacher before we pulled DS out for home schooling, I felt the weight of the label. Frankly, it haunts me whenever I have to advocate for change or work in a group. Inevitably, I try to tiptoe around and not step on toes, but I'm coming to the conclusion that people read that as insincerity or falseness in me. I wonder if I wouldn't do better if I would just be my normal bull-in-the-china-shop self. They might hate me, but at least they wouldn't think I was shifty or manipulative or whatever. I always say that I don't speak passive-aggressive, but people often assume that's what I'm doing when I'm trying to be subtle.
Sometimes we just have to be what we are. I'm middle-aged and still trying to come to grips with that. *sigh*
So I guess I hope I can help my son to do better with people than I do. A loud-mothed, bossy, highly social introvert often has trouble getting along with others. I hope my son is more politic than I am!
