I think beacause we have such good imaginations we think alot about what an ideal response or behavior would have/ should have been so when we are only pretty good we fall short of what could have/ should have been the best in our mind.
Perfectionism torture begins with a great imagination of what could be and somehow morphs into what we think "should be" because if we could think it we should be able to do it.......
and if its not the best we can think of, then its not good enough..
Well, confused, you aren't confused in this area. I believe that the difference between what we can imagine and what we get is a gifted related variation on perfectionism, that I can "Dissonance." Part of what feed it is that so few of us have had enought experience with resonable references. I know I'm not the only one here who compared themselves to characters in books, which is natural for us, because the only person who was remotely "like me" was to be found in my reading.
What we are trying to do with our children is "get them hooked on the rush of achieving after hard work." That's from Dr. Robin Scader over at UConn, are really wonderful resource. We deserved to have had someone guiding us in that direction as well. It
is a rush, and a shame to go through life without. It isn't the
only goal in life. Having balance is another biggie. Most folks get one, but not the other, although I don't think it has to be that way.
Trinity
