Yup. That's the kind of thing I do miss.
But, then again, I'm not entirely opposed to fostering a talent for negotiation, provided that a failure to get his/her way doesn't lead to tantrums and such misbehavior. Knowing how to negotiate is a key skill, one that I think is utterly vital in human interactions. Certainly there are times when it's appropriate for a parent or teacher to be persuaded...and times when it's not at all. I do my best to distinguish between the two and hold the line when I should.
Also, I'm not solely responsible for holding the line. He has a football coach, an art teacher, P.E. teacher, etc. who are in charge of him at various times. That helps, too.
But I think you're right that appropriate assignments make it a lot easier to be more hands-off. I tend to only hover when I've given him something that I fear will be too hard for him. Getting the challenge level right can be difficult, but I think that's key to keeping myself from hovering.
But it's not as hard as I thought it would be to let him do his thing. FWIW, I'm not feeling like I'm being too controlling. In fact, he just finished cleaning his room all by himself...because he wanted to do it alone! That tells me we're doing something right. He NEVER cleaned alone when he was in a traditional school setting! I had to stand on him to get anything done! Now he's much more independent. But he's also a kid who has always liked the concept of independence, at least in theory. Is home schooling helping? Dunno. But I certainly don't think it's hurting.
I'm babbling now. My point was basically just that it's not as hard as I thought it would be to foster independence (in fact, it might actually be easier and more effective in our particular situation, though YMMV), and that allowing/encouraging a child's negotiation skill doesn't seem like a bad idea to me in the right contexts.
