The thing that always worried me about my ability to homeschool is that I really tend to hover. For us school forces me to "cut the cord." Once I drop him off, he has to figure things out for himself and make his way in the world and learn from his mistakes.
When I am around, I find that I minimize his risks and try to soften his consequences, not in a big way, but way more than his school teachers do. They aren't harsh, but with 30 kids to manage, they just aren't as big a push-over as I can be. And the result is that DS is learning to make mistakes, cope with the consequences and then come up with a plan to prevent the situation from happening again--all without me. I see his confidence grow each year. For us, this has been a big plus for public school. In part, this works because DS *likes* public school; it would be quite different if he hated it and shut down when he was there!
I know many confident, independent HS students so obviously HS kids can learn this, but I doubt my ability to provide it. I'm curious to find out how the homeschool families provide this "trying-their-wings" experiences for your kids.
