I don't think that is the case @75west, but I appreciate you posting the links and read them. I will pass them on for my nephew who had apraxia of speech, has dysgraphia, and - recently discovered at 9 years old - stealth dyslexia. He is behaviorally similar to my DS10, but the main difference is my son will have occasional changes to good attitude and then good attention and math performance also.
sanne - it may not be the case, but I'll echo that I had the same thoughts as @75west while reading your post, and I'm parenting a teen who is dyspraxic and dysgraphic as well as a younger teen with a reading challenge. One thing that I'd note from what you've just mentioned - your ds has a cousin who has dysgraphia. Dysgraphia, dyscalculia, dyslexia sometimes occur in families. If your ds hasn't had a neuropsych evaluation, I'd consider it. Many of the symptoms of ADHD are shared with other learning challenges, and the behaviors you've described around schoolwork are very similar to behaviors of students with undiagnosed learning challenges. It's incredibly easy to not recognize learning challenges in bright children - they are so able to cope in so many ways.
I'd also note that those occasional changes in attitude and performance aren't inconsistent with learning challenges - I suspect that many of us here who are parenting 2e students have seen those moments when everything seems to be working ok, or even very well - but typically there are things surrounding those moments which make that change possible - i.e., subtle differences in what's expected, what's assigned, maybe even something that helps our child in terms of self-confidence that's not easily noticed unless you're looking at the details.
I had DS10 check one of his assignments last week and he was shocked that he'd gotten 75% on his first try. He doesn't see that he is improving with practice, but I think that's a bit of ADHD, age, and bad attitude wrapped up together where he's not able to look at situations objectively.
You can help him see progress (as well as monitor it) by designing repeat assignments - have him do essentially (but not exactly) the same type of exercise every 3-4 months, or every Friday - pick the interval based on what type of assignment you choose and also how often you think your ds would benefit from seeing his progress.
But in my mind, I'm upset that he didn't do english, has not progressed with his writing tutor, has only covered 1/4 of the math, has not progressed in science, quit trumpet (his supposed passion), barely participating in piano. He's not doing electives, sports, clubs, activities, or any extracurricular activities that would justify reducing academics. Not even playing alone or with friends.
Another poster suggested that these might be symptoms of depression. Do you think his lack of progression with his schoolwork and need to finish it is also diminishing his ability to enjoy the things he does like to do? Does he usually like to play with friends? If it seems like he's not himself, I'd wonder if he's feeling down, and also wonder if it's related to his lack of progress with his schoolwork. Just thinking that there might be *something* other than unwillingness or lack of cooperation that's resulting in his lack of progress, and that not really understanding at this point what that something is might be leading him into feeling down more globally. Hope that makes sense. And granted, I may be totally off in thinking this is a possibility - just thinking through what happened with my ds prior to having a diagnosis that helped us understand what was really going on with his challenges.
Best wishes,
polarbear
