Originally Posted by KnittingMama
Originally Posted by ConnectingDots
Originally Posted by KJP
I agree. Until you are comfortable with the situation, I would avoid any sort of set up where she either gets a reward or punishment at home based on what happened at school.


Yes, this. One of our biggest regrets is the number of times we punished DS last year for the bad reports we got on him from school. We would have taken a different tack if we had any idea what it was like for him to sit there day after day, trying to be still, trying to find some glimmer of true learning in that classroom, being labeled as a "difficult" child. He put it so well to me when I asked a few weeks ago if he was glad he was in a new school. "Yes, I wish I had been there last year. It would have saved me a year of lost privileges (at home)."

I will second this! Nothing we tried with DS for the last two years, punishment or reward, helped his behavior for any length of time. I certainly regret being so blind to what would have helped.


Punishment and reward have not worked for us either. For a few years I read gentle parenting books and the like. Nothing worked for any legnth of time either. Last year my mom told DD that if she had green (this is the color everyone starts on in the morning, they can go up or down from there) or above for at least 1 week of school she would get her a treat of her choice. We did this for a few weeks with no success. The behavior are things I would consider small. Definitely needs correcting but I would not classify it as major behavior issues as the teacher has. DD's biggest issues are talking and getting out of her seat. One reason that leads me to believe there may be a listening disorder is the teachers last email that discussed DD's behaviors. She said she was talking to DD about "roaming around the room" and before the sentence was off her lips DD walked away. DD will do this to us, primarily when we are lecturing and being repetitive. I do not condone DD's behavior but think that another approach should be tried.