I do believe in offering explanations/reasons for some things, if and when I can or feel inclined, but it's not something that I'm required to do
Sorry, but why not? As a teacher, my rule #1 for myself is that if I can't explain why I'm making a rule for my class, then I have no right to make it. Same thing goes for parents. Obviously not in the case of "don't walk in front of that bus", but when there's time to give an explanation I feel the child has every right to hear it - and since a lot of gifted people have a propensity to refuse to follow rules they see as arbitrary, giving them the explanation will work in your favor. When I was a kid (age 3 or so), I fought my mom on any number of things she told me to do, but only once for each thing. When she, in the course of the argument, finally managed to (accidentally, in most cases) explain her reasoning, I was fine from then on.
Well, there are plenty of situations where the reasons for a decision I've made are not a 'need to know' for my DS10. That's not to say that I don't (often) provide an explanation/reasoning, but again it's not something that he's *entitled* to. And as has been the case for us in the past, providing explanations opens the door for negotiations, in his opinion. See, in his mind, if he can come up with a reasonable argument supporting his opposing position, then surely it must follow that we'll change our mind and allow whatever it is he's after. Having exercised this in the past, DS has taken it to mean that it applies to EVERYthing and he loves to argue. He's a persistent type and even though continuing to belabor a point is not to his advantage, it's most definitely in his makeup
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I'm of the mindset that blind obedience is not always best, however, it's necessary in some cases, safety being the biggest. As a kid, I hated "because I said so" - as a parent, sometimes I use it myself. There are times/places/situations to question and then there just simply aren't. As DS has grown, my parenting has changed to meet the needs of each stage and even to improve upon areas where I feel I didn't make the best decisions and where I can see the results of 'flaws' in my thinking.
Ultimately, just as I don't think there's a one-size-fits-all approach to the educational matters of gifted kids (or any kid, for that matter), I also don't believe there's a one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. Sure, some things would be an ideal and if all children were the same, it'd be great. But, there are different personalities, temperaments, thought processes, reasoning abilities, etc. to take into account.
