123 Magic is good book. Positive interventions and supports is good way to deal with children who have control issues. I didn't take all toys away, children learn through play and using toys to act out how they fee if they are frustrated. If he acted out at 5yrs. I would put the toy in timeout for a day to give him time to consider his behavior. If I punished him for everything he did he wouldn't of had any toys and been in time out all the time. Timeout is one minute for every year of age. He did better when I provided lots of things to do,books toys,games, paint,paper,craft supplies,things to build with tinkertoys,legos,popcicle sticks,books with tracing paper and cool monsters occupied hours of his time. If you can keep him engaged in something he is interested in there is less boredom. Making and designing things builds selfesteme and provide multi-sensory learning Howard Garner talks about in his Theory of Multible Intellingences. I have heard of people who take everything away, I never could do that. Reading information on Oppositional Defiant Disorder provides disipline ideas to support parents who have a very strong willed child. Structure,consistancy,charts with rewards are effective. Wishing you the best!
