Since you're quoting the declaration of independence text you're obviously encouraging us to treat children like fellow American Citizens. �Which I am happy to do. �But we're talking about disciplining children, especially in cases where their behavior is disrupting their pursuit of happiness as in ODD, ADD, and other behavior disorders, then teaching prosocial behavior trumps cultivating altruistic behaviors both in urgency of need, and can be more readily observed.
Yes, respect has to be a key factor-both ways.
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I guess to me "teaching prosocial behavior" is too close for comfort to teaching conformity, and most dangerously to teaching unthinking conformity. Half the time "ADD" or any other string of letters we add to someone just means they're being individuals and someone at school doesn't like that. (I know that considering the population on these boards I'm probably beating a dead horse, but it's my pet peeve dead horse.... ;)) Anyway, I do understand what you're saying and absolutely believe the respect has to be both ways, but it's amazing how many adults out there think an imbalance of responsibility, size, and life experience equates to an imbalance of humanity and the right to basic respect. Like you said, kids are fellow citizens - but how often are they really treated like it in our society? Schools routinely break every part of the Bill of Rights and they're allowed to do so by the courts, which to me makes it even more important that they're treated like people at home. "We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today." -Stacia Tauscher
I do believe in offering explanations/reasons for some things, if and when I can or feel inclined, but it's not something that I'm required to do
Sorry, but why not? As a teacher, my rule #1 for myself is that if I can't explain why I'm making a rule for my class, then I have no right to make it. Same thing goes for parents. Obviously not in the case of "don't walk in front of that bus", but when there's time to give an explanation I feel the child has every right to hear it - and since a lot of gifted people have a propensity to refuse to follow rules they see as arbitrary, giving them the explanation will work in your favor. When I was a kid (age 3 or so), I fought my mom on any number of things she told me to do, but only once for each thing. When she, in the course of the argument, finally managed to (accidentally, in most cases) explain her reasoning, I was fine from then on.
