I haven't been fully ablt to shrug off the "hothousing" shadow that, sometimes, creeps in. Some days the shadow is almost overpowering and I feel paralyzed. There's this internal struggle, "No, I can't talk to my DD about X, even though she's interested in it; that's a topic for older kids. Discussing it now would be pushy" or I find myself watering down topics for my DD despite the fact that she has shown a readiness to learn/know them in a way that is more advanced than the version I share with her. This leaves her feeling confused and unsure of herself. Afterall if her own mother is dumbing down things for her, how else is she to feel about her abilities.
I think your right in that it is more to do with 'hothousing' then gifted. I am in the same boat but realistically I know it isn't hothousing however I find that I limit the information.
When my DD started preschool, she went for approximately 1.5 semester, her speech was very advanced. She had a strong grasp and utilataztion of proper grammar, decent diction, etc. By the time she was done with her preschool *stint*, her speech had changed to match the patterning of those she was around the most - kids around the age 2.5 - 3.5. Now at nearly 5, she does get on good rolls where her speech is more akin to what I had grown accustomed to before preschool. When I asked her about it, while she was attending preschool, her response was, "Oh mom! Kids my age don't talk like that!"
I'm not saying your DD will do this, but only that it's a possibility and not necessarily a terrible thing unless coupled with other negative personality changes.
This is my biggest fear with putting her in school with kids her own age. I already see that she dumbs down to fit in when she is around other kids for short time periods. I am hoping the more time she spends with kids the more she will want to be herself but I really fear it will be the other direction. Last night we went out to eat and granted she was very tired after a very active day. So the waiter came over to get our drink order and knelt down next to her to talk to her. Instant baby talk and staring at him. She even dropped her fork which he picked up and said he would get her another one since that one was dirty. She just stared at him. So he finally got up and said I don't think she understands ... so let me get her a fork. LOL ... I think he really thought she was retarded. If I didn't know her I would have thought it too. So the minute he leaves she tells her panda that she brought with her that she knows he is hungry but he needs to be patient. It back to normal talk ... then he returns and back to baby talk. Drives me nuts!! So yes, definitely a fear for me how much she changes to fit in.
Do you think your daughter is getting better now that she is in PS? I am hoping it is more of a phase and not them going backwards. That would be so hard to watch.
