Is it really that important for me to be so involved in this idea of gifted at toddler age? I sometimes wonder if my knowledge of gifted has helped or hindered my situation.
Sweetie - a lable is only any good if it helps you see clearly 'who' your child is. I hate that show 'Family Guy' but it's a great example of a Mom totally missing the boat on her baby's reality. Most kids, unlike Baby Stuie, are pretty good at figuring out what is expected of them, and if we don't 'make it ok' then they may hide before they even get to school.
I find myself buying more items such as math and reading books that I never would have bought previously but then fear I would be sinking into the black hole of hot housing if I used them and up on a shelf they sit.
My guess is that you buy the items because they appeal to you! We are often, not always, that tree that the little appple didn't fall far from, so what we like, usually the child likes. The only way to know is to get them off the shelf and give it a try! Then we have a chance to observe and nurture, or box up those items. trust your powers of observation - a person who's tagline is 'questioning is what I do' isn't going to fall into a black hole of anything (except self doubt, maybe)
my biggest fear is if I did sit her down and provide some type of curriculum then I am creating this fake sense of gifted.
How about seeing yourself as creating a real sense of work ethic? I wouldn't push a toddler, but showing her that there is a whole interesting world out there of learning, and that learning for fun is 'natural' you are setting the stage for tommorow's work ethic.
But my fear is by doing that I would be the mom that was shocked that her IQ scores were not at the high end b/c she could already do this and that when in the end it is b/c I guided her into that knowledge.
Keep a journal if you are afraid of loosing your objectivity, but is raising a child who is cut of from her inner love of learning because she 'wants to be like Mommy' a better alternative? I'm might be being a bit extreame here, but I really think that if sexism had never existed, and the U.S. had a healthier view of smartness, a Mother would natually 'share' bits of academics with a toddler just like you toss a soft ball to her or take her to the playground. Can you imagine a parent afraid to toss a kid a ball because she didn't want to be dissapointed that the child really didn't have what it takes to be on the Olympic Softball Team?
So again ... I think I was better off on the other side of the fence not even linking gifted to my child.
I've been there, done that, and it took me years to change signals and really 'be there' for my son. Problem is that being on the other side of the fence involves willful disregard of reality, and that can't be good for a parent-child relationship. Also I put DS into situations that would have been fine for a ND kid, (Daycare with agemates) but let him to believe that the world was full of 'Babies.'
But yes, I totally understand wanting to be able to 'forget' gifted. ((wink))
I would say that as long as 'Character' is your first focus, and 'Gifted' is a servant of 'character' you'll be fine.
Best Wishes,
Grinity
