I guess I have a little anxiety. I had to argue with myself to let my kids sleep when I first had them. My kids are fine, I'm just talking about the kind of parental anxiety that makes you want to stay up all night when you have a new baby. (not that they don't wake you up enough). I had to tell myself, "I have to trust them with their own lives, and this is the first step. I have to trust them to stay alive by themselves tonight." Riduclous, right. At least I'm able to argue with myself.
Someone here didn't let their grown kid go away to college because they didn't trust her not to throw her life away for a boy if she got too far from home. She had to go to a local college. But, on the other hand you have more than one teenager here with several kids. There are probably a million creative ways to mess up your child, only a third of which come from their parents. All people are talented at creating their own unique set of problems.
I err on the side that the article supports, my kid feels very independant. Now I have the problem of convincing him he's not the one in charge of everything and everybody. For his age he's very capable and I've always given him a long leash. See above where I came to grips with the fact that my kids lives belong to them and I'm here to foster and develop their independance. I told myself from the beginning I have to start now keeping that goal in mind that soon I'll have to trust them with their own lives completely. Ironically, this makes me over involved in other ways because I'm constantly trying to teach them so they'll do better, because I know I'm giving them more and more control over their own lives younger than usual. I believe they'll take the wheel sooner than usual whether I prepare them the best I can or not, so that's the best guidance I can give them. You should see some poor people have a heart attack with my two year old on the big slide. I answer, "I was very scared every time she did that last year, but I'm getting better this year." Parenting fills u with intense emotions, more than usual.
HK & Lori, you already know this, but "forget them" and do what you need to do to raise your babies. I don't know if it helps to hear another person voice support for your decisions, but there it is.
