Yeah, I developed a latex allergy occupationally over a period of many years, and it is a major pain to live with. Doesn't sound so benign to ME!
My point though was that if all one knew was what was on my DD's medic-alert bracelet, we'd look entirely over-the-top. When we are
still asking for meetings/activities to be allergen-free, for accommodations for college/SATs, etc with my nearly 14yo in mind, it DOES look pretty extreme.
It
would be extreme for a parent with a teen who has never had an allergic reaction and was diagnosed on the basis of a single blood test showing sensitization at 2yo. I do know of a few people like that-- and yes, that's being overprotective, probably.
The point is that even a few people who know us well enough to know how non-normative our lives are can still readily think that we're into helicopter territory-- until they witness our reality for themselves. This doesn't even include strangers whose cooperation we desperately NEED.
One of my dearest friends saw it for herself; DD was about seven and had a clear, instantaneous reaction to just walking into a room that had her allergen present (across the room). Until then, she'd been nice enough not to say what she really thought, but I knew. Similar incidents made her allergist a true believer, as well-- apparently eating an allergen in a room that DD stood in thirty minutes later was enough to cause systemic symptoms. I can always tell when someone has that epiphany-- because they look HORRIFIED, a little apologetic, and begin asking us questions about how we live with that kind of fear/risk. Basically, you just do. Not a lot of choice. I figure DD's extraordinary cognitive ability and superhuman social/empath skill is a pretty good bundle under the circumstances.
Could be much worse. We laughingly refer to DD as "not a beginner project" between DH and I-- this is code for "this person/organization is too inexperienced/overconfident to be fully trusted... be wary." Basically, I look for fear as a marker for determining who actually understands. If they aren't a little afraid, they don't get what they are dealing with. WE are still afraid (well, okay more like healthy respect the way climbers experience heights), and we've been doing this for 13 years without any respite.
But like I said-- this does present us with something of a quandary w/r/t our general parenting philosophy of "respect for adult authority."
I've learned the hard way to
ask before assuming when I see a parent doing something very odd or seemingly overprotective. Kids can have a lot of different vulnerabilities that don't leave them LOOKING fragile to others.
