I apologize if I sound ignorant, I am lost. Is she allergic to ALL food or certain foods? How old is she? Can she manage to carry her own epi pen with her in a fanny pack? I have a life threatening allergy also, so I am not minimizing and know the stress that goes a long with not knowing what might be in something. But I do have to tell you that I work in the school lunch room 3 days a week and we are really trained very well to know who is allergic to what and to always have their epi pens with us whenever the student is with us.
We are NOT a nut free school, but if I know that a child has a nut allergy I make sure that no one in his/her immediate area has anything with nuts. I take the time and explain "nut allergies" to the other students in the child's classroom because if they know it is a serious issue, they help guardian the allergic child. I have had instances where friends of the allergic student have alerted us to a potential allergen in the area.
Additionally, you might be surprised at how well elementary kids can advocate for themselves. One boy raised his hand and I went over to see what he needed and he said that someone at his table had a PB&J, so I immediately moved him to a safe area to eat and asked him to invite one or two friends (without nut lunches) to sit with him.
If your daughter has a food allergy I would definitely teach her to manage her care and educate others around her because you are correct, no matter where she goes she will never be 100% safe and you can never predict when her allergen will appear next to her. But even so, she can still have a safe and happy life if she knows how to identify her allergens and protect herself from them. It isn't fair that she has to live that way, but it is her reality.
